Welcome to our monthly POPIA Horoscope! 🔮
This post offers you POPIA tips couched in wily wit. Simply navigate to your star sign and read our analysis. You can also use your organisation’s incorporation date to see under which sign it falls.
Legally speaking, we disclaim liability for you not having a sense of humour.
Aries: 21 Mar - 19 Apr
Aries are the babies of astrology🐥. It makes sense given your erratic temper tantrums. Perhaps it’s time for an intervention. Okay, not so much of an intervention. TBH, we don’t have the energy to intervene. Let’s play to your strengths instead. So, how about learning about protecting children’s personal information? Hey, it might even help with your much-needed personal growth.
Taurus: 20 Apr - 20 May
We know you’re a lazy nerd that gets offended if you don’t receive invites to socials but never attend them anyway. Seriously though, it’s 2022 and time for a behaviour change. So, join our POPIA programme. It’s a lazy nerd’s paradise. We’ve prepared all the content for you to comply with POPIA. Simply read it at your own pace and attend the webinars—with your camera off, of course 😕.
Gemini: 21 May - 21 Jun
We love Geminis. You’re often called out for being sarcastic and having ADHD. But we see you. There are two things we love about you: your face 🎭. Not that you’re two-faced (lol), but that you can see things from different perspectives. That often means you need to be guided, so you don’t go off on a tangent. So, reach out to us to guide you along your POPIA journey.
Cancer: 22 Jun - 22 Jul
Every conversation with you ends up in emotional drama at an operatic scale. This is not Keeping it up with the Cancers😒. Instead, how about keeping it up with POPIA? Jokes aside, if anyone wanted to use facial recognition technology to detect emotions, we’d recommend you as the entire training dataset. 15 min with you should supply them with a lifetime of data.
Leo: 23 Jul - 22 Aug
We can’t help with your questionable personality that caused your fourth therapist (in two weeks) to choose a new career. But we can help with your constant need for attention. How? Consult with your personal data protection lawyer. They’ll listen to you talk about yourself and then help your organisation solve its data protection problems. And don’t worry —you can take all the credit 😏.
Virgo: 23 Aug - 22 Sep
We all know you can nitpick at things like a dog with a bone 🦴. And don’t get me started about your OCD that would make Adrian Monk weep. But, hey, kennel club and OCD aside, your “critical” skills can help you assess exactly how your organisation processes personal information. So, how about channelling those skills to map your organisation’s processing activities?
Libra: 23 Sep – 23 Oct
It’s always “give me more options” with you. And for some reason, no matter how many options people give you, they’re never enough. Of course, you want only the best. We get that, but make a decision for POPIA’s sake.
But if you’re still indecisive 🤪 and can’t decide (like Justin Bieber sings), reach out to our legal project managers. They’ll hold your hand and focus on managing your decisions and implementing an effective compliance programme.
Scorpio: 24 Oct – 21 Nov
If V for Vendetta were a zodiac sign, it would be Scorpio. The theme song of your life would probably be “Bust Your Windows”. Perhaps, you should have been on the Regulator’s enforcement committee 🙊. Oops, let’s quickly apologise before we find our windows broken over a grudge only you know about (and don’t communicate with us).
Jokes aside, the reality is that trust is important to you; it is to us too. So, let’s help your organisation build trust with your stakeholders by taking our organisational impact assessment.
Sagittarius: 22 Nov – 21 Dec
We welcome the Hermione Granger of star signs. It’s “Le-vi-o-sah!”. *Rolls eyes* 😩 Why must you always have the last word? Don’t get us wrong, everyone deserves to have a voice, But wow, your voice is LOUD!
But I guess we’re masochists because we want to hear more of it. So register for one of our webinars and use that LOUD VOICE.
P.S. if you join one of our programmes, we’ll give you even more opportunities to use your voice in our member-only webinars.
Capricorn: 22 Dec – 19 Jan
Ok, repeat after me: “Life— has—good—moments— too”. Do you enjoy being a Debbie Downer? A ‘glass half- empty’ person? Because it’s giving Cinderella’s stepmother, and we hate to see it.
But, we can show you the world. Shining, shimmering, splendid. We’re happy to show you how to see things differently. Our legal training and learning are designed for people like you (and perhaps consider increasing the Xanax dosage too). Love you lots.
Aquarius: 20 Jan – 18 Feb
Is it us, or did it just get colder? Oh, never mind, we didn’t see you there.
Perhaps consider investing in a gas heater because while the cold doesn’t bother you, spring approaches, and we’re welcoming the warm weather.
But if you insist on living like a machine, boy, do we have some self-help literature for you in our AI law programme!
Pisces: 19 Feb – 20 Mar
“Earth to Pisces, Earth to Pisces!” It’s important to dream, but you can’t stay there forever 😴. The real world has its own wonders. Wake up!
If you need help staying alert, how about subscribing to our newsletter for regular POPIA alerts?
P.S. if you must daydream, dive into our insights rabbit hole—instead—it’s more practical.
This month’s POPIA Horoscope was brought to you by Zwakele Mbanjwa.
