As an information officer, you’re responsible for managing the flow of information within your organisation. It’s your job to ensure that the right people have access to the correct information at the right time. But—plot twist—if you’re looking to be a genuinely horrible information officer, there are some steps to ensure you’re failing in your role.

Keep everything a secret

One of the most effective ways to be a horrible information officer is to keep everything a secret. Don’t share any important information with anyone, even your colleagues. Don’t facilitate training. And don’t even register yourself with the Information Regulator. Instead, keep your files locked up and your mouth shut. This way, you can ensure nobody knows what’s happening, and everyone will be entirely in the dark.

Ignore inquiries

If someone comes to you with a question or concerns or a data subject submits an access request, the best thing to do is to ignore them completely.

Don’t bother responding to emails or returning phone calls. This way, you can show people how uninterested and unresponsive you are. This will lead to people losing faith in you as an information officer.

Mislead people

When you do decide to communicate, make sure to give out false information. This way, people will have no idea what’s happening and be completely confused. For example, you could mix up important dates, times, and locations, making it nearly impossible for people to stay on track.

Be disorganised

As a lousy information officer, it’s crucial to be disorganised. Misplace important documents, forget to update your calendar, and attend meetings late. This way, people will have no idea what’s happening and be completely thrown off. You could also avoid using digital systems and opt for paper and pen instead, which is more likely to cause chaos and confusion.

Use outdated technology

Why bother with modern technology when you can use outdated systems and software? Instead, stick with what you know, even if it means using a fax machine or typewriter. This way, people will be frustrated and confused by your inability to keep up with the times. You could also refuse to use collaboration tools or other communication apps, creating a gap between you and the rest of the team.

Lack transparency

Transparency is essential in the role of an information officer. You should be open and honest about the information you have and what you’re doing with it.

But if you want to be a terrible information officer, you should aim for the opposite. Be as vague and secretive as possible when talking to people, and avoid giving them any information that could be useful to them. This will quickly lead to distrust and frustration.

Don’t communicate

If you really want to be a horrible information officer, you should also avoid communicating with your colleagues and other people in your organisation. Don’t update them on what’s going on or ask for their input. This way, you can make decisions without any feedback, which could lead to disastrous results.

Don’t understand your audience

To be an effective information officer, you need to understand your audience. You need to know who they are, what they want, and how they communicate. However, don’t bother with any of this if you want to be terrible. Instead, assume that everyone is the same and communicate in a generic, one-size-fits-all way. This will lead to confusion, frustration, and a lack of engagement.